Worse Than Waiting?

We didn't think there was anything harder than waiting. We thought once Monday was past and the court hearing was over and everything was finally final our hearts wouldn't be so heavy. Unfortunately now we've discovered that there is something worse than waiting. It's knowing we have a daughter in another state, knowing she's ours, a part of our family, our daughter. And not being able to be with her. Feeling like we've abandoned her. Missing her so much and knowing there's nothing we can do to speed up this process.

Today I spent the day with my Father, my heavenly Father. I try to do this once a month. Actually I've already scheduled my "Daddy Tank Days", as they're called, through 2008 - making sure that one day a month is set aside. Each time is different - today I started out by reading my chronological bible. Then I spent a few hours praying through journaling. And then I spent about an hour singing Christmas hymns. My poor dogs weren't too thrilled about that. Then I read through the Gospels, actually more like skimmed, looking for times when Jesus built relationships and how he did it. And then I went back to the Old Testement and read through Judges and Ruth. And then finished up the day with more prayer time.

I'm so thankful my Daddy Tank Day fell on today. If I hadn't had my heart and mind on my Father it would have been a bad day. I won't lie, there were times I was tempted to crawl under my covers and cry and pray and beg Jesus to let us bring our Angel home. I guess I did do alot of praying and crying asking that our Angel could come home this week but my focus was on the Father and knowing that His will and timing is perfect puts my heart at ease.

I encourage you to set aside one day a month to spend with your heavenly Father. I wasn't too sure about a whole day either when my Pastor suggested this. But then I realized I owe my Father my entire life - isn't He important enough to me to give Him just one day a month? He so longs to spent that time with you, to fill you up and talk with you and encourage and challenge you.

Please continue to pray with us that the interstate compact paperwork would get completed soon, like tomorrow, so we can go get our Angel and bring her home.


jen said...

I have a question - it's serious; I am not mocking you. How do you plan to do your days when you have your little one. I am sure for a while she will be very content to just be with you, but how about when she gets older and is all over the place? I am intrigued by this idea - just can't imagine the logistics of it with four kids! Hmmm

Missy said...

Ya, as I was typing that I was thinking the same thing. It would probably have to be on a weekend and either daddy or a sitter be with the kids. We'll see how that works. :-)

Leah said...

Praying for you...I so understand knowing your child is out there just waiting for you to go get them and yet you have to wait...It was so hard waiting to go get Zachy, those two months were sooooo long. It will pass though and your daughter will be in your arms soon!! May I suggest cooking and freezing some meals while you wait? I was so glad I did that, wish I had done more:) If you need to talk more email me:)