Now that's strange

We had our last meeting with our social worker tonight for our home study. This one was at our home and she also wanted to meet with Princess.

Me: Kim will want to meet with you by yourself tonight.

Princess: Ok

Me: Are you nervous?

Princess: No

Me: You don't get nervous meeting with strange people?

Princess: Well, I get to meet with you every day.


Ha ha. I meant "stranger". Princess is cool as a cucumber, at least that's what she tells me and Hubby. Hopefully she's like that inside her heart too.

Our meeting went well - as far as we know. I guess we'll find out in a few weeks when we get the home study report back. I didn't even go crazy cleaning. I was so proud of myself. I did the basics and put as much clutter away as I could but not too much wacko cleaning. It's a good thing to - we did a quick tour that took about 2 minutes and that was it.

Speaking of strange - it's a strange feeling to be close to having this done. I really haven't allowed myself to get too excited and neither has hubby. I suppose that's natural and probably good for us to guard our hearts. I shouldn't really say that we're close to having it done - our wait could be a year. Lord willing, it won't be but only He knows and we're trusting in His timing.

Another strange thing happened today. I had the ultrasound and other test that I can't remember the name of and if I wasn't so lazy I'd look it up but I am lazy so too bad! Anyway, during the ultrasound the technician says, "do you still have your ovaries?" (yes) and then a little while later she said, "do you still have your appendix?" (yes). I politely said yes each time but on the inside I was saying "HELLO! You are the one looking at my insides - you tell me!!" So that made me wonder what she was seeing and unfortunately I'm not privy to that information until the doctor calls. For the other test we got some more, I guess you can call it strange, information. The doctor said my fallopian tubes are open so that's great. But then he said there's a mass in my uterus. "It could be an air bubble but you should probably have it checked out."

Now that's strange. Kind of in the make you want to puke, worry like crazy, what in the world is in my uterus, kind of strange.

What blog?

Jeez louise, you'd think my brain exploded. These last few weeks it's like I've completely forgotten I had a blog. That's weird! It's probably cuz we have alot of stuff going on and I'm just plain tired. So here's an update...

We had two amazing Thanksgiving meals. Hubby and I prepared one here at our house for his family. That was at noon. Then we packed up the car and drove two hours and had another amazing meal with my family and stayed there for a day. Then we came home and worked like crazy on our house, finishing up little things like trim, outlet covers, etc.

Icky icky. I haven't been feeling well. Remember my wacked out, psychotic, hormonal, pain inducing reproductive system? Well each month it's gotten worse. I've been seeing a gazillion doctors and such and until we get something figured out I've just felt icky and some days it's real hard to get out of bed.

Adoption. So close. THIS WEEK we have our last meeting with our social worker and then our home study is final (I know, it's about time!). Then we wait but it's a better wait because we've done everything we have to do, other than wait. Actually I'm also working on our background check information. For those of you who have never done this you have to write down EVERY address you've every lived at. EVERY ONE. Yes, the farm that we lived on for 6 months. Yes, that apartment in Colorado we lived in for 9 months. These people are crazy, that's all I have to say. But thanks to Google Earth we've found our past addresses and I just have to get that typed up.

Icky icky. A little bit more about this. I went to a specialist today to see what our options are. Option #1 have a hysterectomy (this from a doctor who does very few of these). Option #2 take narcotics to relieve the pain I'm experiencing (99% sure from endometriosis and poly cystic ovary disease). Option #3 take Lupron which will put me into menopause. Will relieve the pain but give me all the menopause symptoms and of course no pregnancy. If we still want to pursue fertility options then there's option #4, continue charting with the Creighton Model for 2 months and then go back and decide if we should have surgery (would be my 5th).

So in order to help us with our decision tomorrow I'm having an ultrasound (both regular and pelvic) and another test (can't remember the name) to see the extent of the endometriosis and other things that might be in there. I gave about 2 gallons of blood today and those results will be back in a week. They put both me and Pat on two kinds of antibiotics to get rid of any bacteria that may be messing things up. And if I don't want to take the narcotics she gave me some other options, like how much Motrin I can really take without overdosing. We really like this doctor. She has a strong faith, is easy to talk to, took as much time as we needed and is honest about our options. She's worked and trained with the doctor that created the Creighton Model so that's encouraging. She asked us if we've considered adoption. Uh, ya :-) She encouraged us to continue with the adoption, even while looking at fertility options.

So that's it in a nutshell. Why I've been absent from the blogging world. I've sure missed you all and hopefully life will eventually get back to some sense of normal - whatever that is, I'm not sure.

Speak to us Lord!

Today we met with Barb, she's a nurse that works with the Creighton Model. We're meeting with her mainly because I've felt so icky lately but also to possibly look at our fertility options. I've already been charting for about 3 weeks and after our meeting today she said she could recognize some things that are not working right, which could be any or all of the following: hormonal imbalance, endomedtriosis, polycystic ovary syndrome, scar tissue from my previous surgeries. So I continue to chart for at least 2 months before she'll make a recommendation but she said because of the pain I've been experiencing it wouldn't hurt to make an appointment with the OBGYN Creighton Model Specialist that she works with. I did that and can't get in to see her until November 26th so we will have a little over 2 months of charting. Barb gave me a book about Creighton Model patients and based on my other research, this book and my symptons I'm pretty sure they are going to recommend that I'll need surgery to remove the scar tissue/endomedtriosis that I probably have.

So right now we're real challenged to know what God's will is. I do not want to have another surgery. I feel like we'd be throwing away money for a slight chance to conceive when we could put that money towards an adoption (but at the same time we are also doing this so I can feel better). I would probably be open to have a laproscopy but that's what they tried 3 years ago and the adhesions and such was too severe.

We also don't know if we should put the adoption on hold through this process of seeing the doctor. As I cried with Hubby tonight I told him I don't care how we add to our family, I just want to know God's will and do that.

Speaking of adoption our meeting with an expectant mom will be Thursday at 1:00. We appreciate your prayers as we seek God's will through the adoption process and the treatment of my wacked out body! :-)

Headaches and Hormones

(Once again - a post with information that you could probably care less about. I recently won an award for the most boring life in the entire universe and I'm sorry but this is all I have to talk about!)

Guess what! I'm fertile! LOL. I couldn't wait to say that.

So I had my first appointment last Friday with my new doctor. She tells me, "You need to get rid of this mental roadblock you have that you are infertile. I never want to hear you say that word again. Yes, God may give you children through adoption but He also might give you children biologically. You are fertile."

Ok! After my appointment I go back to work and all the ladies ask me how my appointment went. "I'm fertile!" I say. Ya, maybe I had a mental roadblock but I'm sorry I just can't keep saying that to people!

Anyway so as I shared with you on Saturday my headache got worse on Friday night and Saturday and Sunday. So I'm thinking for sure I have a tumor and I'm so going to die any minute. Then I realized I hadn't had a soda since Thursday night. This is the lady that has a Mt Dew for breakfast, usually one for lunch and then at least one or two more throughout the rest of the day. So yes, I'm drinking water like my new doctor has instructed but I also went cold turkey on the Dew and my brain was having a serious withdrawal.

Today I had another treatment and it went well. She did some work on my neck to help relieve the headache and it actually did help. I see the other doctor tomorrow that will hopefully provide us some more natural ways for me to most importantly feel better but also increase our chances of taking advantage of this fertile body of mine! :-)

I changed my mind about not saying that word. I think when the doctor comes into the examination room and asks me how I am, I'm going to say, "I'm fertile!".